The Money Couple Minute - 4 Tips to Help You with the Not-So-Empty Nest

Close to 14 million adult children are still living at home. These kids are called "The Boomerang Generation" and for good reason. Just when you think they're gone, they come flying back.

As much as you love your kids, there comes a time when you're ready for them to move into adulthood. When they aren't quite ready-emotionally, socially, and financially-it's hard to know what to do with them. Do you let them move in? Should they pay you? What about chores? The boundaries are beyond fuzzy and will be defined differently from family-to-family and from child-to-child.

Life with a boomerang child can be a valuable experience for you and your child if you follow a few basic guidelines:

1. Before you say yes to your child, say yes to each other. You and your partner both need to be on board for any arrangement to work. Before you let your child move in with you, talk through what it will be like to have him there and make sure you are both prepared for the changes this will bring. Make a commitment to keep talking to each other once your child moves in. Be prepared to change your minds if it's not working.



2. Make sure you can afford it. You have to agree on whether this is even a feasible idea. If you can't afford to feed and house another adult, then tell your child he can only stay with you if he contributes to the household in some way. If he can't pay rent or utilities, have him make repairs, do housework, run errands, or care for younger siblings. Or just say no. Your child can handle it. Really.



3. Start with clear financial expectations. Will your child pay rent? If so, how much? Consider the average rent in your area and adjust it as you see fit. What happens if she doesn't pay? Will she pay her share of utilities? If your child is moving in with children of his own, what kind of childcare is he expecting from you? Get these issues ironed out and written down before your child moves in so everyone knows how this will work. You might even consider a contract of sorts (see www.boomerangkidshelp.com for a sample). If your child doesn't live up to her end of the agreement, ask why. Let her know that this is how the real world works and she needs to figure out how to make her way in it.



4. Focus on developing your child's financial maturity. Adult children, especially recent college grads, need you to prepare them for the financial realities of adulthood. Giving her a free place to live might not be the best way to help your child. She might need you to give her a push toward financial maturity. If she doesn't have any money saved up, help her make a plan for putting some money away. If she's not sure how to budget her money, show her how you do it and inviter her to join you for a Money Huddle. If she doesn't know her Money Personality, help her find out what it is and talk about how it impacts her financial decisions.

If you decide to let your adult child move back home, make sure you're using this time to help launch your boomerang child back into the grown-up world.