The Money Couple Minute - Financial Security for Seniors: 5 Steps to Protect Your Parents Plus ABC News Interview

When most of us think about financial issues, we consider our immediate needs (the mortgage, car payments, credit card bills) and our long-term needs (retirement, college funds for the kids, savings). But we don't often think about one of the most obvious - and difficult - financial concerns facing so many of us: Our parents.

Whether your parents are currently healthy, active, and working, or ailing, slowing down, and retired, you will eventually share in the responsibility for making sure they are well cared-for in the years to come. That means opening the lines of financial communication and helping your parents make proactive decisions about their financial future so they don't end up having decisions made for them.

Financial communication with your parents can be sensitive. These five tips will keep the conversation flowing - and friendly!

1. Start now. You want this conversation to evolve over time. If your parents are in their late 50s or early 60s, it's the perfect time to ask them about their plans for the future. Find out when they are thinking of retiring. What are they excited about? What makes them nervous? If your parents are already retired, find out if it's what they expected. What would they like to be different? Start the conversation with hopes and dreams, not 401(k)s and social security checks.



2. Show respect. No matter how you feel about the way your parents have planned - or not planned - for their future, treat them the way you would any other adult: with respect. Explain that you want to honor them as you all move into the future together. If you need to have more in-depth conversations about financial issues, have them without your partner or your siblings' partners present. Older adults can be very private about financial issues and will likely feel more comfortable talking with their children alone rather than with the in-laws, no matter how loved they are.



3. Keep it simple. As your parents age, we suggest having a short, clear list of topics to discuss with them….be sure to include your siblings. These will help you all figure out where your help might be needed and where it's not. Ask your parents:
   
   - Where do you want to live in 10 years? 20 years?
   - What type of lifestyle do you want?
   - Do you have a financial advisor?
   - What legal documents do you have in place (ie. wills and trusts)?
   - What kind of financial resources do you have? Are these sufficient
      for the lifestyle you want to have?
   - Where would you like to be buried?
   


4. Be patient with your siblings. Make sure you stay in contact with your siblings about any financial conversations you have with your parents--this is where conflict among siblings can begin if there is not complete understanding and agreement about parents' wishes. If there are disagreements, try to work them out as best you can. Be sure to pick your battles wisely - what is important to you may not be important to your siblings and vise versa. Remember, you likely have different Money Personalities and will approach finances differently. You need to put those differences aside for the sake of your parents.



5. Check in. You don't have to badger your parents about financial issues, but be sure to check in once a year or so. Find out how they're doing. Ask about those hopes and dreams. Are they living the life they wanted? If not, are there ways - either financial or otherwise - that you and your siblings can help?

Stick with these conversations, even if they don't seem to get anywhere in the first few tries. Opening the lines of financial communication will eliminate stress, take away surprises and will give all of you peace of mind.

Money Huddle tip: Make sure you keep your partner in the loop on the conversations you're having with your parents. If you find yourself wanting to help them out financially, make that decision as a couple.