The Money Couple Minute - Planning the Wedding: 5 Tips for the Parents, Bride and Groom!

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without money issues gumming up the works. With more couples waiting until they are in their late-20s or early-30s (or later) to get married, the assumption that the bride's parents will foot the bill for the whole shebang no longer holds true. At the same time, parents often want to contribute to the wedding as a gift. And when no one is quite sure who's paying for what, couples end up with a financial communication nightmare.

It certainly doesn't have to be that way. With clear expectations and solid financial communication, couples can get to their big day without the added stress of money battles. Here's how to make sure the road to the wedding is as wonderful as the wedding itself.

For Parents:

1. Get on the same page. Whether you're paying for everything, paying for part, or not paying for anything, make sure you and your partner agree on your plans. We've met couples who've nearly ruined their child's wedding because the Mother-of-the-Bride went a little crazy on the flowers and Father-of-the-Bride ended up with a huge bill he didn't expect. Know what you can afford and what are you willing to pay for. Whatever you decide, make sure you make the decision together.



2. Be clear about what strings are attached. If you're paying for a big chunk of the wedding, tell your child about any expectations that go along with your money. If you want a string orchestra and the happy couple wants a punk band, you'll need to decide if you're willing to pay either way. If not, say that from the beginning.



3. Make sure all the parents are happy. This isn't the time to show off for your child's future in-laws. If you can afford to contribute a good deal of money and they can't, be considerate and don't make a show of your generosity. If you're in a blended family, do your best to put past problems behind you and allow your child's other parent to contribute - financially or otherwise. You all love the child who's getting married, so do your best to work together on this special day.

For Couples:

Know what weddings cost. Before you spend a dime, get a realistic sense of what weddings cost - from dresses to ballrooms to mints. Use the Cost of Wedding Calculator to get an idea of the average expense of weddings in your area.

1. Assume you're on your own. Your families might very well want to pay for everything, but the thoughtful thing to do is ask them. Before you do, however, determine if it's a fair request. If you can afford to pay for the wedding, then pay for it. If you need their help, ask for it. Treat them as partners in this event, not the bankroll.



2. Be gracious. No matter who pays for it, your wedding is a celebration for your parents and you. Thank them for whatever contributions they've made to the day and keep any irritation to yourself.