The Money Couple Minute - Can Your Relationship Survive a Layoff? Four Steps to Success!

"We're sorry, we have to let you go." Those dreaded words from your boss mean more than the loss of a job. They mean the major shift in your way of life. For many couples, that shift brings with it heavy-duty strain - on their finances and their relationship.

But a layoff doesn't have to ruin your bank account or your marriage. With healthy financial communication and a realistic approach to moving forward, you can survive this difficult time. Here's how:

1. Put emotions in their place. Yes, job loss is an emotional event and you need to process all the hurt and frustration that comes with it. At the same time, lingering on those feelings will only keep you from forging a new path. So deal with them, then let go and move on. And whatever you do, don't take those frustrations out on each other. This situation is likely no one's fault. So avoid blaming or complaining.



2. Dive into your new job. That's right, your new job is called "Getting a Job". You need to jump into this as a team, with a solid commitment of time and energy.



3. Avoid assumptions. Assumptions can ruin a relationship. We know there's a lot of fear that comes with the loss of a job. Those fears lead to assumptions about how life will change. And those assumptions can lead to actions--selling your car or pulling the kids out of activities, canceling your vacation plans-that will only add stress and guilt to an already difficult situation. Instead of making assumptions, talk about your financial picture and work together to make decisions about your future.



4. Rethink your roles. According to Time magazine, some 75% of the current job losses belong to men. When a man goes from working to being unemployed, the whole family system has to readjust. Be flexible and willing work together to find new ways to keep the household running.

Keep talking, keep working together, and keep planning for the future. Even if your job situation doesn't improve right away, your financial relationship will stay strong.

Money Huddle Tip: At your next Money Huddle, make a plan for getting through the next three months. What expenses can you cut? How can you balance the household duties? If you're the one who has lost your job, what kind of emotional support do you need from your partner? Starting with a clear plan will help you get through this transition together.