The Money Couple Minute - Hiding Money

Secret accounts, hidden cash, little white lies about spending-these might seem like innocent ways to keep your independence but in fact they are the framework of financial infidelity.

Commit to transparency. It's one thing for couples to have separate accounts-his and hers checking or separate cash reserves. But secret accounts are a whole 'nother ballgame. They mean that someone in the relationship doesn't trust the other person with financial decisions. And since money touches every part of our lives, that financial mistrust usually points to a deeper level of mistrust that will infect the whole relationship. That's why hiding has to stop if the relationship is going to survive.

Talk through the fears behind the secrets. Hiding finances from your partner is usually a response to fear-fear that he will spend you into debt, fear that she will control your spending, fear that you won't have a financial leg to stand on if the relationship ends. So the only way to get out from under the crushing weight of these secrets is to bring them into the light.

Try to stay calm and be honest. You might find that your partner has fears of her own. Consider how your money personalities play into these secrets and take our Financial Relationship Index to see just how deep these secrets go. Then commit to honest financial communication from now on.