The Money Couple Minute - 5 Ways to Jump Start Your Financial Communication in 2011

‘‘Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.’’ - Maria Robinson We don’t always think about the ways our financial situation impacts our lives. Sure, it makes a difference in the house we live in or the car we drive, but it really trickles into even the most mundane decisions - the kind of cereal we eat, the kind of shoes we wear, the kind of coffee we drink.

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That’s why a lack of financial communication skills can be so devastating to a relationship - when money affects everything, not knowing how to talk about money affects everything, too.

The New Year is the perfect time to bring new life into your financial relationship. With a few shifts in how you think about and talk about your money, you can head into 2011 with a renewed commitment to building strong financial communication, the kind that will revive your relationship and your family finances.

Here are 5 commitments to make right now:

1. Commit to discovering what’s working and what isn’t. As you look back over 2010, it might be tempting to focus on any financial missteps or failures. And while it’s good to look at those and figure out what went wrong, it’s even more important to talk about what you did well. If you cut back your spending, even by a little, congratulate yourselves. If you saved a little more or fought about money a little less, celebrate that! Learn from your triumphs as well as your mistakes.


2. Commit to a month. If you’re struggling to get your finances under control, it’s time to change that. Right now. For the month of January, write down every cent you spend - use a cash flow worksheet like this one. Every cent. At the end of the month, look at where your money is going. Once you have a realistic picture of where you’re spending, you can make more informed decisions on where to cut back.


3. Commit to a Money Huddle. Whatever you call it - a Money Huddle, a Money Meeting or a Board Meeting - make room in your schedule for regular conversations about money. We use our monthly Money Huddle to pay bills, look over our spending, talk about our financial goals and dream. More than anything else, this meeting will keep you talking and working together in your financial commitments.


4. Commit to total honesty. Money secrets - we call them financial infidelity - can be as devastating to a relationship as sexual infidelity. They are a violation of trust and can be almost impossible to overcome unless you are willing to be honest with each other. If you blow the budget, tell your partner and commit to making changes in your spending. If you’ve got a secret credit card, fess up. If you need to dig out from years of financial secrets, our Financial Relationship Index (FRI) can help you get started.


5. Commit to not fighting about money in front of your kids. Instead, show your children what healthy financial communication looks like. Talk about financial decisions in front of them. Let them see you negotiating and taking each other’s concerns into account. If those conversations start turning into arguments, table them until you can finish them in private. Showing your kids how to talk about money will be one of the greatest gifts you give them.

Money Huddle Tip: Make it a date! Pour a glass of wine, hold each other’s hands, look into each other’s eyes, and toast to your commitment to a healthy financial relationship.


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