The Money Couple Minute - Talking About Money

Arguments about money seem to take on a force that's unlike any other kind of disagreement. Because money impacts every part of our lives-where we live, what we drive, how we dress, what we eat, the work we do, the dreams we have-it carries with it a whole bunch of emotional baggage. And that can make calm, respectful conversations about money very, very difficult.

But it's not impossible. In First Comes Love, Then Comes Money, we'll take you though a whole process called The Money Huddle that will help you plan regular financial conversations with your partner. But you can get a head start with these strategies:

State what you need, not what you feel. Try to take the emotion out of the conversation from the start. If you need to save more money, then say, "I'd like us to put more of our money into savings so that we are better prepared for emergencies." If you need more financial freedom, say, "I'd like to work with you to determine how much I can spend without it hurting our budget."

Show that you're listening. When you partner talks about his or her needs, nod your head, ask follow-up questions, look each other in the eye.

Give each other equal time. If you need to set a timer, do it. The idea is to make sure both of you have the chance to talk about what you need from your financial relationship.

Try to see your partner's point of view. Put away your defenses and do your best to understand what your partner is saying. Remember that you don't have to have the same perspective to have healthy financial communication. What you need is understanding and the willingness to compromise as you work together to meet your financial goals.

Accept disagreement. You won't agree on everything-what couple does? So be prepared to not get your way sometimes. Know that you will have to let go of old resentment and expectations if you want to move forward into a better financial future.