The Money Couple Minute - When Money and Romance Collide

Sometimes Cupid's arrows hit the pocketbook and the results are not pretty. Not long ago, we sat down with a couple that was having major financial issues. He was a romantic Spender who loved to splurge on his sweetie, but she was a Saver and thought he was throwing their money away on cards, flowers, and expensive dinners.

We meet a lot of couples like this. The Spender shows love and affection with a shower of gifts and goodies and the Saver cringes just thinking about how much all that love costs. But these couples can find ways to keep their romance-and their bank accounts-alive and well.

If you and your partner are struggling to find the sweet spot between love and money, here's what you need to know:

If you're the Saver: The Saver tends to freak out when her partner spends on something she deems frivolous. In her mind, things like flowers are nice for a day or two, but then they die and all you have left is a bill for $60. If that sounds like you, then for the sake of the relationship, do your best to look at the intention behind your partner's romantic gestures. Recognize that for some Money Personalities (Spenders and Flyers in particular), gifts are a way of showing love and thoughtfulness. So before you launch into all the reasons your partner spent too much, say thank you-and mean it. To prevent problems in the future, use some Money Huddle time to set a budget for special occasions so you don't have to think about it anymore. Knowing you have made room in your budget for romance not only gives your partner the freedom to show you love without worrying about a backlash, but might just encourage you to do a little splurging on him as well.

If you're the Spender: Spenders love to shop! The rush of finding just the right something for his partner is part of the fun of special occasions. If you're a Spender, you know exactly the feeling we're talking about. But if you want to romance your beloved, you have to recognize that all the champagne and roses in the world will fall flat if they create stress in your partner. And that's what spending does to Savers-it stresses them out. It might sound strange to a Spender, but if you really want to woo your Saver partner, show her that you've taken her Money Personality to heart and are willing to make changes because of it. Instead of buying two dozen roses, buy one dozen. Instead of a big meal at a fancy restaurant, cook her a wonderful meal at home. Find ways to give experiences instead of things. You can fill your need to love on your honey without using up all your money.

Whether you're the Spender or the Saver, remember that sometimes a little understanding and compromise can be the most loving gesture of all.